Since, we live in India and as we are
extremely concerned about society and what people say, marriage becomes a
social phenomenon. So after a certain age, it becomes difficult to stay alone
in this society. Some segments of society are too excited to see you married
before you attain the age of 25 years while some segments are slightly liberal
and don't mind waiting for another 2-3 years before they actually start to
taunt you and pester you with questions on your marriage. It’s like seeing you
married is the only thing left for them to live for. And it doesn't end there
you also tend to receive continuous tantrums of your own people including your
parents and married friends. Yes, it gets worse, you tend to doubt yourself and
think as to really where you are lacking, the social pressure hits you hard.
But, if you’re hopeful and open to change you might get to see the events you
never expected.
Nevertheless, lucky are those who find
love early and are able to marry the one they love. But, for others sometimes
it seems like an endless search. An arranged marriage is a feeble shot at some
watered down version of love. You simply cannot throw two supposedly
"compatible" individuals together and tell them to fall in love. Love
is a spontaneous reaction. And some basic chemistry will tell you that
chaos-creating spontaneous reactions tend to be exothermic. But, when you have
no other option and when you do not want to go the typically arranged way, you
tend to look for a self arranged marriage. Now, a self arranged marriage is
different from the old fashioned arranged marriage only in one aspect that you
search for your life partner yourself but of course the families are involved.
The only difference is you meet each other first, try to judge the
compatibility and then arrange the family meet. But, only if life was as easy
as it seemed.
Now, let’s see
how different our expectations are from the reality:
Expectation: You
meet the guy; get to know him, then decide.
Reality: The
families meet and decide amongst themselves, your opinion doesn't count.
Expectation: To
have a good courtship period with beautiful magical moments.
Reality: Families
start pestering you, "good you like each other, you should now exchange
the rings".
Expectation: To
fall in love and getting your dream proposal.
Reality: Families
already started giving you stress about marriage arrangement and managing the
finances.
Expectation: To be
happily married with the man you love for the rest of our life.
Reality: Families
discuss about exchange of gifts, the kind of lavish wedding the girls side can
arrange, etc.
Expectation: The
man of your life will step up and fight for what's right and say I just want
her, what I am going to do with these gifts anyway.
Reality: The man
has a list too over and above the list of demands of his family.
Expectation: The
man realizes what’s more important, the relationship or the list.
Reality: The list
is always given a priority.
Expectation:
Things to work out somehow.
Reality: Things
never work out until you fulfill the demand list.
Thus, I sometimes
ponder is love possible in an arranged way?
What are your
thoughts?
